Gotta tell ya'.....i'm not so much a fan these days!!!!

i was raised to always believe that ALL people are just inherently "good".  That they had to CHOOSE to be bad.  Regardless of the environment they grew up, experiences they've faces, etc... ad infinitum. 

Now, this is not a invitation for a discussion on that because logically i understand how all that has an impact on the choices we make in life.  i just mean that deep down to the very core of our being, we are just plain "good".  You know what i mean?

These days, however, more and more events are happening in the world, in this country, in the company i work for, in my own neighborhood and even in my own home.  What the hell is going on with everyone?  GEEZ!!!!

Case in point.  Heading off to work this morning, i walked out to my car only to find that it had been broken into and ransacked.  The glove box had been emptied on to the floorboard and rummaged through.  Oh, and get this, just yesterday i had installed a new radio to replace the one that got stolen last year (around this same time) in the company parking lot.

Fortunately, BECAUSE of the new radio installation and other work i did to the car yesterday (the very same one in my profile pic), i had removed the faceplate and locked the car.  Here's the kicker (i guess.)  NOTHING was taken.  Not the $1+ in change in had on the floorboard.  Not the speakers.  None of the paperwork.  Not the garage door remote.  Toll tag and various other things i had in the car.  Obviously they just wanted the radio.  It was obvious they had tried to pull it out but since i installed it in such a way to make it MUCH harder to steal and the faceplate was not there, they must've changed their mind.  Well, that or someone/something scared them away.

i just don't get it.  This stinking, selfish desire in some people to think THEY need to take others' things without considering what it means to them.  i beginning to think that these people are just inherently "BAD" and can't even fathom the possibility of making "good" choices.  You know?  These things just sometimes make me want to give up on my hope of what people IN GENERAL can achieve because of those few that screw it up for everyone else.

Now, if you've read of my previous posts, you'd know how committed i am to my faith and "serving" those around me but man, these things can have a way of sidetracking that belief and giving up.  Of course i won't.  Just like last year, i'll get over this.....maybe.

That's all i got......just venting!  Thanks for hanging in there.

Laters!

Getting motivated about getting motivated...well, sort of....

Over all the MANY years i've been running, i've participated in so many of the organized events here in the Dallas area that i've found that i've lost the motivation to get excited about repeating any of them.  My running AND my body, have suffered greatly for that.

And then, as i was picking up my race packet for yet ANOTHER Dad's Day 5K, it was like the heavens parted and shown glorious light down on a flier for the Tyler Rose Marathon/Half-Marathon/5K coming up in October.  i swear, i think i heard a heavenly choir sing as i picked it up and started reading it.  Oh, and get this....it was perfect timing to fit the 18-week marathon training program i've always used in training for the marathon's i've done.  If that ain't divine intervention, i don't know what is!  :))

Anyhoo, i've started training and am feeling that excitement and motivation i felt so many years ago when i trained for my first marathon.  i LOVE this feeling!!!!

Laters!!!

It was AS IF i was there!!!!!

Yep!  Saw it in Digital 3-D.  i thought it was great!  i liked that it wasn't just a re-telling of the same story.

Ever since 21 JumpStreet, i've been a Johnny Depp fan and ever since Frankenweenie, i've made it a point to see any and everything Tim Burton does.

Go see it....particularly in 3D.  The Cheshire Cat alone is worth the extra bucks.



laters.

It Hurts When I Cry

let me just say up front, i know "Yo Momma" jokes are just plain wrong but i kinda liked this one:


Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.  




laters!  Have a great day!

I've been a BAD boy!

Recently a men's group started up at our church.  The topic of study is the spiritual disciplines.  Disciplines we should turn to when needing to get closer to, and understand more of, God.  The book we're following is Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline".  Awesome book, i tell ya'!

What has struck me as highly ironic is, when i look at my own attempts at these discipline, how closely my dedication to them falls directly in line with my disciplines for running.

i know i've posted before about how close my running experience is to my faith and how they pretty much go hand-in-hand for me, meaning as i slide in one, i slide in the other.  As i go farther in one, i go farther in the other (pun intended).  i don't like that i do that but there it is.  However, what i'm REALLY liking is as we're going through these spiritual disciplines, i'm seeing just how similar they are to those we, as runners, follow.  I'm listing here just a few of those that have particularly been rattling about in this little ol' pea-brain of mine:

Meditation:  Spiritual:   Finding a passage, a verse or even a single word in the Bible that jumps out at me and centering my thoughts on it throughout day.  Focusing on why it touched me, how it makes me feel, where am i in my belief of it, etc...
                              Running:  Just before taking off (particular in a race).  Centering my thoughts on the distance, the course, the pace i want to set, how i'm feeling, where am i hurting, calming my nerves, the training i did leading up to this particular, run, etc....

Fasting: Spiritual: The idea here being to separate myself from the thing(s) that can often replace God in my life and focus on replacing it WITH God.
                   Running:  Obvious.  Removing certain foods or liquids from my diet that harm my body and replacing them with healthier options.

Study: Spiritual: Here, i'm not just reading the Bible.  i'm also pulling in other writings, ideas, etc... that dive deeper into whatever passages i'm interested in at the time. i'm looking for more insight, guidance or explanation to what i'm reading.
                   Running:  Reading my subscription to Runner's World. runnersworld.com , RunnerDude, books by George Sheehan, or books on the Badwater UltraMarathon...the list is endless.  Of course, the idea being that the more i read of others' experience and advice, the better i'll do.

I'll stop at this point because 1) the list is amazingly extensive and, 2) well, that as far as we've gotten in the study so far.   :))


Admittedly, if i had to make the decision to replace my running with God, i would have a really, REALLY hard time with making that decision.  As long as i keep the right perspective on it all, i'm hoping it never gets to that point.  Besides, the invitation stands that whenever He wants to lace up His Nikes and join me, He's always welcome....or would He prefer New Balance?  (get it?  "balance"?  Faith and running?  "BALANCE?"...okay, maybe it's only funny to me)


i appreciate you hanging in this long and i certainly hope that whichever of these areas, or any other you're interested in, that you are finding the discipline(s) you need to help you grow deeper in it.

God Bless and Happy Running!

Should The Bible Become The Forbidden Fruit?

MAN! There have been many occasions in my life where i have been the recipient of some truly extreme judgment with the Bible being used as the justification for it. And you know, as much as i hate to admit it, there have been many times where i've done the same to others. Obviously, i'm NOT proud of that fact.

Taking that knowledge about myself and coupling it with the message Pastor Keith gave this past weekend REALLY set my mind in motion about it. You see, in his message, he reminded us of the cornerstone (my words) of all our sin in the story of Adam and Eve and the ever important Forbidden Fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. As we all know, prior to their eating it, they didn't know of an evil. They only knew of good. God's good.

Pastor Keith also reminded us of how we can live either a life based in judgment or one based in love. That we can't do both. When thinking about various events and people i've come across, i can't express just how convicting this message was for me. I was downright blown away by it. That's where i started wondering about whether or not the Bible should have been THE forbidden fruit because of the way so many "good-hearted" Christians have come to use it. But i really think, "No, it shouldn't have." It's not what's IN the Bible that's the problem, it's what we get OUT of it. Think about it. If we just crack it open every once in a while, it seems we're more prone to misuse what we THINK we've read. A closed Bible leads to a closed mind leading to a closed heart.

Now, i would love to say that i've always been a person that acted lovingly to all those i come in contact with but in all honesty, i KNOW i haven't. So obviously, i have a LONG, LONG way to go, but what an amazing God we have that is so patient with me and constantly, and gently, leads me in the direction He knows i need to go to get there. Is that awesome or what?

It looks like i just REALLY need to remember the love that God feels towards me, and the amazing heart He showed for all of us through His Son. And, if i work to return that love to God and to others in that same way, then i should do okay, right? While it's easier said than done, it's NOT impossible. Opening myself to God and what He has done and planned for me, then i'd think it would only lead to an open heart. At least, i'm thinking it can't hurt to try.

Just a thought. (My apologies to Pastor Keith if i misunderstood the context of his message in any way)

laters!

AH-HA!!!! The Plot...I Mean SNOW...Thickens!!!

Just having a little panoramic fun this morning before heading off to work!

Just click on the image to see a larger version.

laters!

Wah da heck iz all dis white stuff??????

This is NOT typical for us in our area but quite fun to look at.  The drive to work this morning wasn't too bad either.  Now, after it all freezes and becomes ice tonight?  For that drive to work in the morning?  YIKES!!!!

Anyhoo.

Laters!!!

It's All Shiny and New!!!!

I have worked for good ol' Blue (no, NOT IBM) for 26+ years now.  For that whole time i was at the same location, until today.

The corporation built a new Texas corporate headquarters and my team was moved this past weekend.

I gotta say, it did feel weird not driving to work the same ol' way but as silly as it sounds, i was excited. And MUCH to my surprise, it's 1 1/2 miles closer to my house, putting it just 6 miles away.  Hey, when you drive an old car ('74 Beetle), that matters....lol

My personality allows me to accept change(s) very easily.   In fact, the more things stay the same, the more nuts i go....SHEESH!!!!  so imagine 26+ years in the same place....BLECK!

Anyhoo, here's the new sight.

And if you wave, i just might wave back!!!!

Thanks for humoring me.  Hope you are having a most wonderful day!


Laters!

Using Mercy As An Inspriation to Run

Last night i just did NOT want to get out and run, but i knew i had to.  I'm starting to look for some local area runs (15K+) to help get me motivated.  I want to train better than i had for the previous organized events i've done.

Anyhoo, after much bickering with my inner demons (they always want me to surf the couch), i begrudgingly laced up my shoes, grabbed the dog leash and got ready.

See i was SO un-motivated, i decided to take our older dog out with me. Her name is Mercy. She's a chow mix and about 9 1/2 years old and since i figured i wouldn't get going out to break any sound barriers, i figured she'd be the better companion.  i take her when i'm doing short, light, easy and slow runs.  i don't take her anymore for the longer or faster ones.

i decided to keep the distance short (5K) and the pace very slow.  'd LOVE to say that the pace was slow for Mercy's benefit but i'd be lying.  :)   For a good deal of the run, SHE was pulling me.  Oh, and since i decided to run it Galloway Method style (4:1), every time my watch went off for the 1-minute walk cycles, she'd look back at me like she was saying "Come on you LOSER.  I'm biologically older than you are and i ain't no wuss!  LET'S GO!"

It ended up being a really good run.  Not so much because i finally dragged my butt out there but because of taking Mercy with me.  It is so awesome to see how excited she gets when she hears me say "You want to go for a run?"  She knows what that means.  She heads to the front door and sits, waiting for me to connect the retractable leash to her choke chain.  And when we step out the door, she's ready!

It's like years melt off her face and from her gait.  i swear, sometimes, i think i see a big smile on her face and a bright gleam in her eyes from the excitement of being out.  It's either that, or she's just ready to get a break from the new puppy, Grace, we adopted in December.  I'd like to think it's because she just loves being out there with me.  Whichever it may be, i'm just thankful i had a good run with a good running buddy.

i hope we get to have many, many more.


laters.




Miles:  5K with Mercy
Low point(s): Right knee was hitting me with a few twinges, went way too soon have a big dinner
High point(s): Seeing Mercy's excitement at being out, the smells from the various fires from the chimneys

WAT-CHOO LOOKIN' AT?

Runner's World Quote of the Day from today:

I think there is no better way to invite a human being to view their body differently than by inviting them to be an athlete, by revering one's body as an instrument rather than just an ornament. It's a really great way to reorient how you see your body so you can see it as this incredible, awe-inspiring machine that you need to fuel well in order for it to function.

Alanis Morissette, Singer/Actress


Well, APPARENTLY, little miss Alanis has been peeking in my bathroom window.....AGAIN!   lol


Hope you're having an awesome day!



laters!

How Low Can You Go?

My motivation this week is way, way, WAY low for getting my butt out and running.  i'm not sure why.  i feel healthy.  i'm doing relatively good with my diet and hydration.  i just don't have that "UMPHF" i need.

Maybe i need to just pick out my next run as a means to get me motivated.


STAND BACK!  (in case it's contagious....lol)



laters.

Running in my Faith

Anyone with any appreciable amount of knowledge about running knows what it takes to have a good run, or to place high in an organized event.  It takes a perfect balance of training, hydration, diet and motivation.  When all that is clicking right, it seems like there isn't anything you can do wrong.  Even the weather plays very little into the results of your run because by being properly balanced, you will have accounted for that before you even take the first step.

Well, with the lack of training....and uh....motivation....and well, diet, i haven't done as well as i would have liked in the last several organized events.  While my times were a tad bit better than the last times i had in those same events in previous years, i had a really difficult time completing them.  And with my being the last male finisher of the most recent one, it has really rocked something deep down inside me like a little mental "kick in the pants"  that i've needed.  i'm working on a training plan for the next set of events i want to do.  i'm making sure i get the proper hydration i need on a daily basis.  i've been altering my diet to what it should be.  Okay, maybe not so much on that last one.  LOL

Anyway, this week i was reminded of how much my disciplines in my faith have almost exactly mirrored those of my running.  i've lacked the motivation, the interest and desire to study it.  To learn it.  To live it.  While i was making myself crack open the Bible, i was really only reading it as i would any other book.  i wasn't really READING what it was that God was trying to teach me in those words.  Plus, It's been WAY TOO EASY for me to find excuses to avoid studying and even easier to blame others for my lack of motivation and discipline.  So, just like in running, my progress in my faith BONKED like you wouldn't believe.

Fortunately, in the last several months, i've recommitted myself to the disciplines i used to follow and just like in running, i'm gaining strength, and endurance and connecting back with the love i have for it.  And so it goes, that as my running improves, so does my faith and vice versa.  i'm not sure i like them being so connected but that's how it is.  But then again, how interesting is it that there are several references, in the New Testament, about athletes and how they don't win the prize unless they are well disciplined and trained, etc....  It obviously fits.

So, there you go, i've got my disciplines that i need to do for running and those that i need to do in my faith.  What's great is that so many of those disciplines are so similar in their very nature.   I'm off to a good start, at a good pace and am working to keep my eye on the finish and the prize.  And even if i'm last, "To Finish Is To Win", right?  In EITHER case.


Thanks and God Bless.


Oh, and what page is my Bible turned to in the photo above?  Why it's my favorite one, of course.  The end of the watch strap is pointing to Isaiah 40:31  (NLT)  "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."  (emphasis added to express my point)

Laters!

Too Cold To Hold 15K

Well, as i posted a few days ago about the Too Cold To Hold 15K i was participating in, i did NOT freeze that part of me that i sit on.  It was a tad bit warmer that i would've preferred.  It was roughly 45 degrees at the start.  i'd rather it been in the 30's but at least it never really got much warmer.

Since i hadn't trained for it all that much, i decided to be REAL conservative and run a Galloway Method setting of 4:1 (run 4 minutes:walk 1 minute).  Also, i pulled way back on the pace.  My goal here just being able to finish having run as much as possible.  i wasn't worried about breaking/setting any records.  Although i did set a personal record, which i'll mention later.


In the days leading up to this event i did a really good job of keep myself hydrated, plus i had a decent breakfast leading up to it, as well.  Couple that with the decision to run much more conservatively and i started off with a very good plan.  Considering the lack of training, i was feeling really good at the starting line.  Nevermind the fact that just about 1 minute prior to the start, i realized i had left my power-gels back in Bugsy (my car).  Unfortunately, dashing over to the car to get them and then back would've added about 10 minutes to my time so i decided against it.  i'm both glad and disappointed i didn't go get them.

Anyway, the horn blew and we were off.  i kept my pace very conservative, like i said, and felt really good.  The minutes and miles slowly paced on by without much to write about.  It was a nice day, nice scenery and i was feeling really good.  i was hitting each mile at a pace that i was expecting, that being between 12:45 and 13:15 minutes per mile.  The water stops were placed at really good spots along the course.

It was around mile 5 though that i started to regret not getting my power-gels.  i could already tell at that point that i was going to be bonking.  All i could do was hope that it came much later in the course.  Knowing that, i decided to pull back on my pace just a tad.  Although i hoped it would come later, it was right at the 7 mile marker that i bonked and MAN did i bonk BIG TIME!  My legs went all rubbery and i just had very little energy left to drive them, so i started walking.  HOPING that i would recover soon.

After walking about 5 minutes, i decided i could muster up enough energy to run the down-hills and the flat places.  Unfortunately there weren't too many of those left.  LOL

From mile 7 to the end, i figure i was only able to run (in very small stretches) a combined amount of about 10 minutes.  The rest was just plain walking but at least i had the energy to at least walk fast.

So, to sum it all up, i finished at 2 hours, 11 mintues and 17 seconds. NOT my best time ever for a 15K but i finished.  i'll take it.  My placing was 695 out of 719 finishers. 

Oh, and the personal record i set for myself? Well, i wasn't the last person to finish but i was THE LAST MALE FINISHER!!!   WOOO-HOOOO!!!  Can i get a blogger's high-five?  Yeah, that's a first for me.  The....last....male.....finisher.

Oh well, nowhere to go but up, right?


laters.

Ooooops! I did it again!

God is all about the second chances!

              Prove me wrong!

(what a shame that there are so many people who aren't)







laters.

I wonder. Is it easier said than done?

i have a subscription Runner's World magazine plus i created an account at their website and get all kinds of cool email from them.  In this morning's email there was a link to an article on their website called,
 
"10 Rules of Weight Loss" .  Check it out if you get the chance.  It's quite interesting.

Now, there's not really any new information in that you probably haven't already heard but i like the way they laid it out.  Here's the trick though, at least for me.  FOLLOWING IT!!!!

i read all these articles and see all the great advice from the hosts on The Biggest Loser and i KNOW they are right.  But here's where i get into my whiny side, so you may want to turn away if you can't stomach that....lol.

IT'S HARD!!!  (*pouty lips*)   YOU'RE SKINNY AND ALREADY DO ALL THAT!!!! I'M NOT!!!!(*sniffle*)  IT'S SO EASY FOR YOU TO SIT BACK AND SAY HOW EASY IT IS!!!!   (*sad eyes*)  TRY WALKING AROUND IN MY LIFE FOR A FEW YEARS!!! (*here we just trail off into a blubbering-mumble*)

i am having trouble getting my running plan kick-started.  The motivation is there.  i know it is.   It's just buried under all the emotions, the stress, the frustrations and yes, fat.

i look back (fondly) on all the marathons, and other long-distance, runs i've participated in and KNOW i can do.  i have.  MANY times.  

i'm just struggling a bit right now but i'll get there.


laters.

Music to my ears.

In the past week, i received some awesome words of encouragement.  Words that validated the emotions i've been dealing with over issues in my life.

i was totally dumbfounded by it because USUALLY i'm the encourager, not the encouraged.  As i read the words, i felt a deal of vindication (for lack of a better word) in that what i've been trying to do and AM doing will not be wasted.  That God is seeing my efforts and recording them.

What the person doesn't/didn't know is how much i was really needing to such positive feedback.

What gets me is in all this "stuff" that's been going on, the people you'd THINK would give you encouragement have been, for the most part, silent.  The pastors at the church, while not totally silent, have only given the stereo-typical, biblical words they're most likely required to, or just plain used to, give out to their congregations.  But it feels more like min-preaching than encouragement.  The family members you'd think would/should support you when you're having troubles basically say nothing because they have no frame of reference to compare to.  And friends?  Well, those that know have only uttered words like "been there, done that", or "keep your head up", or some other sort of bland societal-accepted response.

No, what i got was what felt like genuine concern for my well-being as well as my soul, from a friend i would not have felt privileged enough to even ask for their time, much less words.  i have been truly blessed.

When was the last time someone said something encouraging to you?

When was the last time you encouraged, i mean TRULY, encouraged someone who really needed it?


Thanks for reading and i hope and pray that God is moving in and through you in ways that leave a smile on someone's face and heart.



laters.

Just hoping NOT to freeze my A_ _ OFF!!!!

Too Cold To Hold - 15K coming up this Sunday.  Due to being so sick over the holiday season and just recently getting over it, i just haven't trained as much as i would've liked.

Fortunately, i know the course, having had run it many times in the past so there shouldn't be any surprises there.  i can just focus on maintaining a good pace and run as many of the Galloway intervals i'm planning on setting my watch too.

IF... no, i mean IF i can maintain my planned intervals and pace, i'm figuring i will be running roughly 7.5 miles of the full 9.33.  That's about 80%.  I'll take that.  The weather and how well i fuel my body Friday and Saturday will have the biggest impact.

Is it too soon to start panicking?    LOL

All prayers and wishes for good luck will be MOST welcomed!!


laters!

If this were a rock and a hard place, i'd think it was easy.

When you have an issue with someone, how do you normally handle it?  Do you confront them, hoping to "work things out"? Or are you the type that just basically treats the person with indifference until they eventually get the clue and go away?

Now, let's change that around.  If someone had an issue with you, how would you prefer they handle it?  Would you rather they confront you about it so that you could possiblydo something to resolve it? Or would you rather they just not say anything at all until you decide it's just not worth it and leave them alone?

Yeah.  Me too.




laters.

Example THIS!!!!

I usually try not to use this blog for "venting" but i'm-a gonna anyway!   lol
The conversations, or lack thereof, i've had with others this past weekend just brought something up in me that i just need to get out.  Tomorrow i'll have something better.  i promise.
================================================================


In today's "Our Daily Bread", a portion of 1 Timothy was referenced where Paul is encouraging Timothy to stay strong in his own disciplines.  The reason being that we are do that not just to continue having a strong bond with God but also to be an example to others around us.  The idea being that as others see us following godly disciplines, they will too.

It all makes total sense and for the most part i totally believe it works.

However, there becomes that total breakdown where you have people get into that whole "do as i say not as i do" thought process.  You know what i mean?  People whose actions don't exactly fall in line with what they say yet they think they can tell you what "the right thing to do" is?

Maybe it's just me being super-sensitive right now but i'm really seeing A LOT of that around me.  At home.  At work.  At church.  And even in my personal relationships that aren't a part of any of those 3 environments. I've got people TELLING me what i should do, how i should act, what i NEED to do to be a better person.  All too often it feels like that what they're REALLY telling me is how much of a loser i've been.  How i can't seem to do anything right.  In addition, it seems like so many of them are distancing themselves from me.  Now, what kind of "example" is that for me to follow?

Here's the sad part.  The extent of the "mistake" i made in no way, shape or form, comes even close to what some of these people have done in their past.  i guess it's just that mine is the most recent and probably a reminder to them of the things they've done and by distancing themselves they are removing the possibility they could stumble again.

WAY TO GO PEOPLE!!!   REALLY?

i was there to pick you up when you fell.  i was there to listen and not judge.  i was there to lean on when no one else was.  And now, when the tables have been turned, you've held true to form and basically left me standing out on my own.  You're suddenly too busy to listen, to understand, to show the same freakin' compassion that was shown to you.  You're quick to make sure i'm not doing the same things you're doing so you don't have to deal with me or so that i don't remind you of what you've done.  Well, good for you!

Maybe YOU need to take a trip back through the New Testament and refresh yourself with what living a Christ-like life REALLY is all about. Oh, and by the way, the next time you need ME for any trouble/issues/situation you're facing, you can rest assured i'll be there for you.

It's what i do.

i got your example.....right....here!

Who's Your Daddy?

Last semester, our older daughter, Kristin, had to withdraw from school for emotional and medical reasons.  She was so dejected and disappointed in herself for having to do so.  In addition, she had so much anger towards her mother and i that she couldn't even bear the thought of living with us so she went and lived with my mother-in-law.

During the time off from school she got medicine, she picked back up her exercising and eating better and just basically doing everything she could to get herself  well again.  The goal being to go back to school this semester.  Well, she did it.

Two days ago (01/06), i drove her back up to Oklahoma State University to get her set up in the new apartment she found.  When i say new, it's not just that it's new to her, they are brand new apartments.  They opened last October just off campus.  It's roughly 3/10 of a mile to the building she has most of her courses in.  The on-campus dorm room she was in last semester was 8/10 of a mile.  Funny, huh?  Move off-campus and you're actually closer to where you need to be AND into a practically brand spanking new furnished apartment.

Like i said, i moved her up two days ago and i spent the night there in Stillwater.  Karla didn't go.  Mainly because there just wouldn't have been enough room without having to rent a truck, or trailer (which would've meant putting a trailer hitch on the car, etc...).  Plus, with our younger daughter, Haley, still in high school,  we felt it better for Karla to stay home.  It was a good decision.  It was a good opportunity to have some daddy and daughter time.

While getting her all set up in the apartment, she expressed her worries and fears about what to expect this semester and more so this whole next year.  We had some really good talks.

Anyway, originally i was going to come home Wednesday night but when we talked about when i would leave, i could tell she wanted me to stay.  She wouldn't say it but you know how it is.  It was obvious she wanted me to stay, so i did.  Fortunately with the layout of the apartment and the fact that her roommate is not due back until this weekend AND the extreme cold that moved through the area, it was a good decision.  i slept on the couch.  The next morning we got up, had breakfast and made another Wal-mart run to pick up stuff we missed the night before.

When it came time for me to leave, AFTER having lunch at Eskimo Joe's of course, it was sweet.  She still acted all little girl-like in that she didn't want me to go yet but she knew what kind of traffic i'd have going back.  It was a rare move on her part that she wanted to get a picture of the two of us together outside her apartment building AND i got one of the biggest hugs i've ever had from her in a loooooong time.  It was a good time.

Good Luck Kristin!  Daddy loves you!


Laters!

Come. Walk this Way....

In today's "Our Daily Bread" (January 5), it references 2 Timothy 2:1-10 where Paul is calling on Timothy to not be (in my own words) suffer along with him in his efforts to spread the Good News.

Now, i get it.  He's basically saying that the road we have chosen is hard and may involve pain, persecution and what-not.  That Timothy should be willing to except that.  That makes sense.

However, although i have read these verse many times in my years, for some reason, i'm reading the differently today.  The meaning i'm getting is that Paul is saying "BECAUSE i'm going through this you MUST go through it too".  Every ounce of logic in my body (which i know ain't much) tells me i shouldn't take it that way, i still am.  And so, i'm going to run with it for now.

Right or wrong, i don't know that i could EVER ask anyone to suffer just because i am.  Do i really have the right to ask that of anyone?

Now, i don't have any problem encouraging anyone to follow God's Word or in Christ's footsteps, which often involve hardships, but i just don't think i could ever say to someone "well because i'm suffering, you must suffer too".  For me, it's more like "while i may be suffering right now, i hope and pray that, in your walk, you don't have to suffer in the ways i have" or "i wish you all the joys that come with this path we have chosen".

Does any of that make sense?

Anyway, wherever you are in your walk with Christ, i hope our paths cross even in the smallest way because i will consider myself enriched by having experienced that meeting.  God bless.



laters.

The journey starts with but one step.

My favorite thing to do on New Year's Day is to go down to White Rock Lake and run the New Year's 5-Mile run every year.  I have run in it 9 of the last 10 years.  i was registered the year i didn't do it but i was just too sick to go do it.  LOL  i've never forgiven myself for it!

Anyhoo, i completed it in 1:06:44, which is a an average of 13:21 per mile.  Now, that's not a blazing speed by any stretch of the imagination but i'll take it considering that's a better average than each of the last 5 years.

After all we're always supposed to be moving forward, right?


Right!




laters!

Now, was that so hard?

i just read a status post from a friend over on facebook.  He commented about how he hated how when you're walking down a hallway, or street, and you say "Hi!" to someone and they don't say anything back, or answer back with "How are you doing?" without so much as slowing down to listen for a response.

That got me to thinking.

i don't know that i've ever really been bother by that.  Now, it will make me think to remember to stop and listen for the answer if i ask the "How are you?" type of question.  i mean that's just plain being polite, right?

What's been troubling me most lately, which NEVER used to, is a similar situation with an IM message, email, or e-card.   i don't know why.  It just does.  i mean, it never bothered me with regular snail-mail.

i guess it's just knowing the capabilities with technology these days, it just seems like it takes hardly any effort to "answer back", you know?

Recently on both Christmas and New Year's days, i sent messages out to people via email, e-cards and even IM messages and not one stinkin' reply did i receive.

i know i shouldn't let it bother me.  i'm sure there have been email, e-cards, text messages, IM messages i haven't responded to.  All i know is that i'm going to make an extra special effort to stay connected with those that matter to me and answer back.

So...HOLLER!.....Aw-ight?



laters.

Broken Cup

It wasn't so much the scars on her wrists, arms and legs that worried him, it was the scars on her heart.  Although he hasn't known her for very long, it's feel like they been connected forever.  It was odd how he knew when to be quiet for her.  When she needed him to be there and even when he knew she needed him to stay away.  As he stared at her face, he wondered if she ever knew him that well.

At this moment, he was struck by a particular memory.

It was early in their friendship.  She was feeling particularly low about loves lost, at her own doing, and how she felt like her heart just wasn't capable of holding love for anyone for any appreciable amount of time.  She said she felt like it had a huge crack in it.  That's when he went into the study and got one of his most prized possessions.  The teacup that once belonged to his grandmother.  It wasn't anything fancy.  Not worth hardly even a dime.  But, it was priceless to him.

So, he took it back in the other room and showed her.  As he handed it to her, he tried to repeat the same words his grandmother had told him. "Take this teacup.  Hold it.  Think of it as your heart.  It's so frail yet has held so much in it.  See that crack running down the side next to the handle?  Well, your heart has many cracks it, just like that one.  You see?  God didn't intend for your heart to be completely healed.  He wants the love to seep out so that He can pour more into it. Do you see it now?  It's okay that your heart has that crack in it.  That way God and keep filling it up.  Do you see the crack now?"

She smiled that little half-smile that she always gave when she was touched but didn't really want to show it.  She just sat there, holding it in her hands.  Looking at it.  Admiring the crack.  Comparing it to her heart.  It brought tears to her eyes just knowing she wasn't broken.  That her heart had a crack in it by design.  When one of her tears fell into it, she held it up to give back to him.  He closed her hands around it and said, "I want you to have it. Always.  Whenever your heart is hurting, hold it and remember the love that God, and i, would love to pour into it."  That was a good day.  For both of them.

Suddenly it dawned on him why that particular memory flashed before him.  He saw it.  The teacup.  In her hand.  Just before they closed the casket.

As the tears overcame him, all he could think was "Thank you, God.  I guess she knew me after all."

HELLO???? Anyone in there?

Since when did "shutting down" become such an option?

It seems that i'm surrounded by people who through some weird turn, or another, think it's best to just "shut down" when faced with any sort of confrontation.  Well, let me correct that.  Any sort of confrontation that is not of their choosing.

Oh sure, if it's the subject matter THEY want to discuss, well then it's fine to dive bomb, say whatever they want and then act as if everything's okay.  But when it's not what they want to talk about, they just shut down.  I hear "i don't want to talk about", "it's not important", "i don't feel good" or "it doesn't matter" when OBVIOUSLY it freakin' does.

Does this strategy even work?  I wonder.  When i get that treatment and try multiple times to clear the air and get everything out in the open, i get to the point of "why bother?"  "i've told you how i feel and that what you are thinking/feeling/wanting is important to me." and they STILL shut down?   I mean, REALLY, what is the point?

Yet, my trying the line of relational warfare is just not allowed.  i love the double-standards that are currently swirling around me right now.  UGH!!!!

So, if you want to talk?  Great. I'm more than willing to answer.

If not, then go ahead, shut down.  i've got other things i'd rather do than deal with this.


laters.