I don't wanna.....

I am really struggling right now. I have to make a decision I don't want to make, but make it, I will.

It's about the Antelope Island Buffalo Run 50K I'm signed up for. Due to work, church and family issues, I haven't been able to run a lot of the training miles I should have at this point....but I REALLY want to go!

Yesterday's 5-miler left me with a soreness in my right knee that's kept me chair-bound the majority of the day.....but....that was on concrete and the Buffalo Run is on earth.

It's a 1300+ mile drive just to run 31 miles....but....I'd really love the adventure.....but Bugsy (my '74 super beetle) might just not be up for the trip.

I know my body and how it heals and I know my limitations....but my heart is yelling louder than my head (and knee).

ugh....I hate this!

I know the end decision's going to be....I just don't want to accept it yet. :(

Don't Panic.....RUN!!!!!!

Trying not to freak myself out.


I've signed up for my first 50K, the Antelope Island Buffalo Run, in Utah on March 23. Check it out====> Antelop Island Buffalo Run

Did i mention it's my first?    (*teeth chattering*)

Ddon't get me wrong, i'm as excited as hell at testing my endurance not only at this distance but on trail running as well.   I've NEVER been considered a fast runner by ANY stretch of the imagination but recently when i learned that you basically take your average road pace and add 3-4 minutes?  Well, now i'm just getting scared whether or not i'll finish in the 10 1/2 hour course limit.  But i'm still willing to try!

There's just so much to learn and consider.

      I live in Texas at around 550 feet above sea level. This event starts at 4,200 with it's highest point around 5,000.

     I'm a newbie to both trail running and 50K so i've learned there's new course etiquette i need to learn. You mean i can't just run on the sidewalk when i'm passing or being passed?

     Drop bags!  What the hell do i put in them and how many do i need????

    And, so, so , so much more!!!!


So, yeah.  Fear!  Trepidation!  Excitement!  Anticipation!  among other feelings are plaguing me at the moment.  Wish me luck!

Happy Running!

Gotta tell ya'.....i'm not so much a fan these days!!!!

i was raised to always believe that ALL people are just inherently "good".  That they had to CHOOSE to be bad.  Regardless of the environment they grew up, experiences they've faces, etc... ad infinitum. 

Now, this is not a invitation for a discussion on that because logically i understand how all that has an impact on the choices we make in life.  i just mean that deep down to the very core of our being, we are just plain "good".  You know what i mean?

These days, however, more and more events are happening in the world, in this country, in the company i work for, in my own neighborhood and even in my own home.  What the hell is going on with everyone?  GEEZ!!!!

Case in point.  Heading off to work this morning, i walked out to my car only to find that it had been broken into and ransacked.  The glove box had been emptied on to the floorboard and rummaged through.  Oh, and get this, just yesterday i had installed a new radio to replace the one that got stolen last year (around this same time) in the company parking lot.

Fortunately, BECAUSE of the new radio installation and other work i did to the car yesterday (the very same one in my profile pic), i had removed the faceplate and locked the car.  Here's the kicker (i guess.)  NOTHING was taken.  Not the $1+ in change in had on the floorboard.  Not the speakers.  None of the paperwork.  Not the garage door remote.  Toll tag and various other things i had in the car.  Obviously they just wanted the radio.  It was obvious they had tried to pull it out but since i installed it in such a way to make it MUCH harder to steal and the faceplate was not there, they must've changed their mind.  Well, that or someone/something scared them away.

i just don't get it.  This stinking, selfish desire in some people to think THEY need to take others' things without considering what it means to them.  i beginning to think that these people are just inherently "BAD" and can't even fathom the possibility of making "good" choices.  You know?  These things just sometimes make me want to give up on my hope of what people IN GENERAL can achieve because of those few that screw it up for everyone else.

Now, if you've read of my previous posts, you'd know how committed i am to my faith and "serving" those around me but man, these things can have a way of sidetracking that belief and giving up.  Of course i won't.  Just like last year, i'll get over this.....maybe.

That's all i got......just venting!  Thanks for hanging in there.

Laters!

Getting motivated about getting motivated...well, sort of....

Over all the MANY years i've been running, i've participated in so many of the organized events here in the Dallas area that i've found that i've lost the motivation to get excited about repeating any of them.  My running AND my body, have suffered greatly for that.

And then, as i was picking up my race packet for yet ANOTHER Dad's Day 5K, it was like the heavens parted and shown glorious light down on a flier for the Tyler Rose Marathon/Half-Marathon/5K coming up in October.  i swear, i think i heard a heavenly choir sing as i picked it up and started reading it.  Oh, and get this....it was perfect timing to fit the 18-week marathon training program i've always used in training for the marathon's i've done.  If that ain't divine intervention, i don't know what is!  :))

Anyhoo, i've started training and am feeling that excitement and motivation i felt so many years ago when i trained for my first marathon.  i LOVE this feeling!!!!

Laters!!!

It was AS IF i was there!!!!!

Yep!  Saw it in Digital 3-D.  i thought it was great!  i liked that it wasn't just a re-telling of the same story.

Ever since 21 JumpStreet, i've been a Johnny Depp fan and ever since Frankenweenie, i've made it a point to see any and everything Tim Burton does.

Go see it....particularly in 3D.  The Cheshire Cat alone is worth the extra bucks.



laters.

It Hurts When I Cry

let me just say up front, i know "Yo Momma" jokes are just plain wrong but i kinda liked this one:


Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.  




laters!  Have a great day!

I've been a BAD boy!

Recently a men's group started up at our church.  The topic of study is the spiritual disciplines.  Disciplines we should turn to when needing to get closer to, and understand more of, God.  The book we're following is Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline".  Awesome book, i tell ya'!

What has struck me as highly ironic is, when i look at my own attempts at these discipline, how closely my dedication to them falls directly in line with my disciplines for running.

i know i've posted before about how close my running experience is to my faith and how they pretty much go hand-in-hand for me, meaning as i slide in one, i slide in the other.  As i go farther in one, i go farther in the other (pun intended).  i don't like that i do that but there it is.  However, what i'm REALLY liking is as we're going through these spiritual disciplines, i'm seeing just how similar they are to those we, as runners, follow.  I'm listing here just a few of those that have particularly been rattling about in this little ol' pea-brain of mine:

Meditation:  Spiritual:   Finding a passage, a verse or even a single word in the Bible that jumps out at me and centering my thoughts on it throughout day.  Focusing on why it touched me, how it makes me feel, where am i in my belief of it, etc...
                              Running:  Just before taking off (particular in a race).  Centering my thoughts on the distance, the course, the pace i want to set, how i'm feeling, where am i hurting, calming my nerves, the training i did leading up to this particular, run, etc....

Fasting: Spiritual: The idea here being to separate myself from the thing(s) that can often replace God in my life and focus on replacing it WITH God.
                   Running:  Obvious.  Removing certain foods or liquids from my diet that harm my body and replacing them with healthier options.

Study: Spiritual: Here, i'm not just reading the Bible.  i'm also pulling in other writings, ideas, etc... that dive deeper into whatever passages i'm interested in at the time. i'm looking for more insight, guidance or explanation to what i'm reading.
                   Running:  Reading my subscription to Runner's World. runnersworld.com , RunnerDude, books by George Sheehan, or books on the Badwater UltraMarathon...the list is endless.  Of course, the idea being that the more i read of others' experience and advice, the better i'll do.

I'll stop at this point because 1) the list is amazingly extensive and, 2) well, that as far as we've gotten in the study so far.   :))


Admittedly, if i had to make the decision to replace my running with God, i would have a really, REALLY hard time with making that decision.  As long as i keep the right perspective on it all, i'm hoping it never gets to that point.  Besides, the invitation stands that whenever He wants to lace up His Nikes and join me, He's always welcome....or would He prefer New Balance?  (get it?  "balance"?  Faith and running?  "BALANCE?"...okay, maybe it's only funny to me)


i appreciate you hanging in this long and i certainly hope that whichever of these areas, or any other you're interested in, that you are finding the discipline(s) you need to help you grow deeper in it.

God Bless and Happy Running!

Should The Bible Become The Forbidden Fruit?

MAN! There have been many occasions in my life where i have been the recipient of some truly extreme judgment with the Bible being used as the justification for it. And you know, as much as i hate to admit it, there have been many times where i've done the same to others. Obviously, i'm NOT proud of that fact.

Taking that knowledge about myself and coupling it with the message Pastor Keith gave this past weekend REALLY set my mind in motion about it. You see, in his message, he reminded us of the cornerstone (my words) of all our sin in the story of Adam and Eve and the ever important Forbidden Fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. As we all know, prior to their eating it, they didn't know of an evil. They only knew of good. God's good.

Pastor Keith also reminded us of how we can live either a life based in judgment or one based in love. That we can't do both. When thinking about various events and people i've come across, i can't express just how convicting this message was for me. I was downright blown away by it. That's where i started wondering about whether or not the Bible should have been THE forbidden fruit because of the way so many "good-hearted" Christians have come to use it. But i really think, "No, it shouldn't have." It's not what's IN the Bible that's the problem, it's what we get OUT of it. Think about it. If we just crack it open every once in a while, it seems we're more prone to misuse what we THINK we've read. A closed Bible leads to a closed mind leading to a closed heart.

Now, i would love to say that i've always been a person that acted lovingly to all those i come in contact with but in all honesty, i KNOW i haven't. So obviously, i have a LONG, LONG way to go, but what an amazing God we have that is so patient with me and constantly, and gently, leads me in the direction He knows i need to go to get there. Is that awesome or what?

It looks like i just REALLY need to remember the love that God feels towards me, and the amazing heart He showed for all of us through His Son. And, if i work to return that love to God and to others in that same way, then i should do okay, right? While it's easier said than done, it's NOT impossible. Opening myself to God and what He has done and planned for me, then i'd think it would only lead to an open heart. At least, i'm thinking it can't hurt to try.

Just a thought. (My apologies to Pastor Keith if i misunderstood the context of his message in any way)

laters!

AH-HA!!!! The Plot...I Mean SNOW...Thickens!!!

Just having a little panoramic fun this morning before heading off to work!

Just click on the image to see a larger version.

laters!

Wah da heck iz all dis white stuff??????

This is NOT typical for us in our area but quite fun to look at.  The drive to work this morning wasn't too bad either.  Now, after it all freezes and becomes ice tonight?  For that drive to work in the morning?  YIKES!!!!

Anyhoo.

Laters!!!

It's All Shiny and New!!!!

I have worked for good ol' Blue (no, NOT IBM) for 26+ years now.  For that whole time i was at the same location, until today.

The corporation built a new Texas corporate headquarters and my team was moved this past weekend.

I gotta say, it did feel weird not driving to work the same ol' way but as silly as it sounds, i was excited. And MUCH to my surprise, it's 1 1/2 miles closer to my house, putting it just 6 miles away.  Hey, when you drive an old car ('74 Beetle), that matters....lol

My personality allows me to accept change(s) very easily.   In fact, the more things stay the same, the more nuts i go....SHEESH!!!!  so imagine 26+ years in the same place....BLECK!

Anyhoo, here's the new sight.

And if you wave, i just might wave back!!!!

Thanks for humoring me.  Hope you are having a most wonderful day!


Laters!

Using Mercy As An Inspriation to Run

Last night i just did NOT want to get out and run, but i knew i had to.  I'm starting to look for some local area runs (15K+) to help get me motivated.  I want to train better than i had for the previous organized events i've done.

Anyhoo, after much bickering with my inner demons (they always want me to surf the couch), i begrudgingly laced up my shoes, grabbed the dog leash and got ready.

See i was SO un-motivated, i decided to take our older dog out with me. Her name is Mercy. She's a chow mix and about 9 1/2 years old and since i figured i wouldn't get going out to break any sound barriers, i figured she'd be the better companion.  i take her when i'm doing short, light, easy and slow runs.  i don't take her anymore for the longer or faster ones.

i decided to keep the distance short (5K) and the pace very slow.  'd LOVE to say that the pace was slow for Mercy's benefit but i'd be lying.  :)   For a good deal of the run, SHE was pulling me.  Oh, and since i decided to run it Galloway Method style (4:1), every time my watch went off for the 1-minute walk cycles, she'd look back at me like she was saying "Come on you LOSER.  I'm biologically older than you are and i ain't no wuss!  LET'S GO!"

It ended up being a really good run.  Not so much because i finally dragged my butt out there but because of taking Mercy with me.  It is so awesome to see how excited she gets when she hears me say "You want to go for a run?"  She knows what that means.  She heads to the front door and sits, waiting for me to connect the retractable leash to her choke chain.  And when we step out the door, she's ready!

It's like years melt off her face and from her gait.  i swear, sometimes, i think i see a big smile on her face and a bright gleam in her eyes from the excitement of being out.  It's either that, or she's just ready to get a break from the new puppy, Grace, we adopted in December.  I'd like to think it's because she just loves being out there with me.  Whichever it may be, i'm just thankful i had a good run with a good running buddy.

i hope we get to have many, many more.


laters.




Miles:  5K with Mercy
Low point(s): Right knee was hitting me with a few twinges, went way too soon have a big dinner
High point(s): Seeing Mercy's excitement at being out, the smells from the various fires from the chimneys

WAT-CHOO LOOKIN' AT?

Runner's World Quote of the Day from today:

I think there is no better way to invite a human being to view their body differently than by inviting them to be an athlete, by revering one's body as an instrument rather than just an ornament. It's a really great way to reorient how you see your body so you can see it as this incredible, awe-inspiring machine that you need to fuel well in order for it to function.

Alanis Morissette, Singer/Actress


Well, APPARENTLY, little miss Alanis has been peeking in my bathroom window.....AGAIN!   lol


Hope you're having an awesome day!



laters!

How Low Can You Go?

My motivation this week is way, way, WAY low for getting my butt out and running.  i'm not sure why.  i feel healthy.  i'm doing relatively good with my diet and hydration.  i just don't have that "UMPHF" i need.

Maybe i need to just pick out my next run as a means to get me motivated.


STAND BACK!  (in case it's contagious....lol)



laters.

Running in my Faith

Anyone with any appreciable amount of knowledge about running knows what it takes to have a good run, or to place high in an organized event.  It takes a perfect balance of training, hydration, diet and motivation.  When all that is clicking right, it seems like there isn't anything you can do wrong.  Even the weather plays very little into the results of your run because by being properly balanced, you will have accounted for that before you even take the first step.

Well, with the lack of training....and uh....motivation....and well, diet, i haven't done as well as i would have liked in the last several organized events.  While my times were a tad bit better than the last times i had in those same events in previous years, i had a really difficult time completing them.  And with my being the last male finisher of the most recent one, it has really rocked something deep down inside me like a little mental "kick in the pants"  that i've needed.  i'm working on a training plan for the next set of events i want to do.  i'm making sure i get the proper hydration i need on a daily basis.  i've been altering my diet to what it should be.  Okay, maybe not so much on that last one.  LOL

Anyway, this week i was reminded of how much my disciplines in my faith have almost exactly mirrored those of my running.  i've lacked the motivation, the interest and desire to study it.  To learn it.  To live it.  While i was making myself crack open the Bible, i was really only reading it as i would any other book.  i wasn't really READING what it was that God was trying to teach me in those words.  Plus, It's been WAY TOO EASY for me to find excuses to avoid studying and even easier to blame others for my lack of motivation and discipline.  So, just like in running, my progress in my faith BONKED like you wouldn't believe.

Fortunately, in the last several months, i've recommitted myself to the disciplines i used to follow and just like in running, i'm gaining strength, and endurance and connecting back with the love i have for it.  And so it goes, that as my running improves, so does my faith and vice versa.  i'm not sure i like them being so connected but that's how it is.  But then again, how interesting is it that there are several references, in the New Testament, about athletes and how they don't win the prize unless they are well disciplined and trained, etc....  It obviously fits.

So, there you go, i've got my disciplines that i need to do for running and those that i need to do in my faith.  What's great is that so many of those disciplines are so similar in their very nature.   I'm off to a good start, at a good pace and am working to keep my eye on the finish and the prize.  And even if i'm last, "To Finish Is To Win", right?  In EITHER case.


Thanks and God Bless.


Oh, and what page is my Bible turned to in the photo above?  Why it's my favorite one, of course.  The end of the watch strap is pointing to Isaiah 40:31  (NLT)  "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."  (emphasis added to express my point)

Laters!

Too Cold To Hold 15K

Well, as i posted a few days ago about the Too Cold To Hold 15K i was participating in, i did NOT freeze that part of me that i sit on.  It was a tad bit warmer that i would've preferred.  It was roughly 45 degrees at the start.  i'd rather it been in the 30's but at least it never really got much warmer.

Since i hadn't trained for it all that much, i decided to be REAL conservative and run a Galloway Method setting of 4:1 (run 4 minutes:walk 1 minute).  Also, i pulled way back on the pace.  My goal here just being able to finish having run as much as possible.  i wasn't worried about breaking/setting any records.  Although i did set a personal record, which i'll mention later.


In the days leading up to this event i did a really good job of keep myself hydrated, plus i had a decent breakfast leading up to it, as well.  Couple that with the decision to run much more conservatively and i started off with a very good plan.  Considering the lack of training, i was feeling really good at the starting line.  Nevermind the fact that just about 1 minute prior to the start, i realized i had left my power-gels back in Bugsy (my car).  Unfortunately, dashing over to the car to get them and then back would've added about 10 minutes to my time so i decided against it.  i'm both glad and disappointed i didn't go get them.

Anyway, the horn blew and we were off.  i kept my pace very conservative, like i said, and felt really good.  The minutes and miles slowly paced on by without much to write about.  It was a nice day, nice scenery and i was feeling really good.  i was hitting each mile at a pace that i was expecting, that being between 12:45 and 13:15 minutes per mile.  The water stops were placed at really good spots along the course.

It was around mile 5 though that i started to regret not getting my power-gels.  i could already tell at that point that i was going to be bonking.  All i could do was hope that it came much later in the course.  Knowing that, i decided to pull back on my pace just a tad.  Although i hoped it would come later, it was right at the 7 mile marker that i bonked and MAN did i bonk BIG TIME!  My legs went all rubbery and i just had very little energy left to drive them, so i started walking.  HOPING that i would recover soon.

After walking about 5 minutes, i decided i could muster up enough energy to run the down-hills and the flat places.  Unfortunately there weren't too many of those left.  LOL

From mile 7 to the end, i figure i was only able to run (in very small stretches) a combined amount of about 10 minutes.  The rest was just plain walking but at least i had the energy to at least walk fast.

So, to sum it all up, i finished at 2 hours, 11 mintues and 17 seconds. NOT my best time ever for a 15K but i finished.  i'll take it.  My placing was 695 out of 719 finishers. 

Oh, and the personal record i set for myself? Well, i wasn't the last person to finish but i was THE LAST MALE FINISHER!!!   WOOO-HOOOO!!!  Can i get a blogger's high-five?  Yeah, that's a first for me.  The....last....male.....finisher.

Oh well, nowhere to go but up, right?


laters.

Ooooops! I did it again!

God is all about the second chances!

              Prove me wrong!

(what a shame that there are so many people who aren't)







laters.

I wonder. Is it easier said than done?

i have a subscription Runner's World magazine plus i created an account at their website and get all kinds of cool email from them.  In this morning's email there was a link to an article on their website called,
 
"10 Rules of Weight Loss" .  Check it out if you get the chance.  It's quite interesting.

Now, there's not really any new information in that you probably haven't already heard but i like the way they laid it out.  Here's the trick though, at least for me.  FOLLOWING IT!!!!

i read all these articles and see all the great advice from the hosts on The Biggest Loser and i KNOW they are right.  But here's where i get into my whiny side, so you may want to turn away if you can't stomach that....lol.

IT'S HARD!!!  (*pouty lips*)   YOU'RE SKINNY AND ALREADY DO ALL THAT!!!! I'M NOT!!!!(*sniffle*)  IT'S SO EASY FOR YOU TO SIT BACK AND SAY HOW EASY IT IS!!!!   (*sad eyes*)  TRY WALKING AROUND IN MY LIFE FOR A FEW YEARS!!! (*here we just trail off into a blubbering-mumble*)

i am having trouble getting my running plan kick-started.  The motivation is there.  i know it is.   It's just buried under all the emotions, the stress, the frustrations and yes, fat.

i look back (fondly) on all the marathons, and other long-distance, runs i've participated in and KNOW i can do.  i have.  MANY times.  

i'm just struggling a bit right now but i'll get there.


laters.

Music to my ears.

In the past week, i received some awesome words of encouragement.  Words that validated the emotions i've been dealing with over issues in my life.

i was totally dumbfounded by it because USUALLY i'm the encourager, not the encouraged.  As i read the words, i felt a deal of vindication (for lack of a better word) in that what i've been trying to do and AM doing will not be wasted.  That God is seeing my efforts and recording them.

What the person doesn't/didn't know is how much i was really needing to such positive feedback.

What gets me is in all this "stuff" that's been going on, the people you'd THINK would give you encouragement have been, for the most part, silent.  The pastors at the church, while not totally silent, have only given the stereo-typical, biblical words they're most likely required to, or just plain used to, give out to their congregations.  But it feels more like min-preaching than encouragement.  The family members you'd think would/should support you when you're having troubles basically say nothing because they have no frame of reference to compare to.  And friends?  Well, those that know have only uttered words like "been there, done that", or "keep your head up", or some other sort of bland societal-accepted response.

No, what i got was what felt like genuine concern for my well-being as well as my soul, from a friend i would not have felt privileged enough to even ask for their time, much less words.  i have been truly blessed.

When was the last time someone said something encouraging to you?

When was the last time you encouraged, i mean TRULY, encouraged someone who really needed it?


Thanks for reading and i hope and pray that God is moving in and through you in ways that leave a smile on someone's face and heart.



laters.

Just hoping NOT to freeze my A_ _ OFF!!!!

Too Cold To Hold - 15K coming up this Sunday.  Due to being so sick over the holiday season and just recently getting over it, i just haven't trained as much as i would've liked.

Fortunately, i know the course, having had run it many times in the past so there shouldn't be any surprises there.  i can just focus on maintaining a good pace and run as many of the Galloway intervals i'm planning on setting my watch too.

IF... no, i mean IF i can maintain my planned intervals and pace, i'm figuring i will be running roughly 7.5 miles of the full 9.33.  That's about 80%.  I'll take that.  The weather and how well i fuel my body Friday and Saturday will have the biggest impact.

Is it too soon to start panicking?    LOL

All prayers and wishes for good luck will be MOST welcomed!!


laters!